tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5127146074466020172024-03-12T23:51:17.641-07:00The Life and TimesHobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-45841765446234845152014-04-26T15:19:00.000-07:002014-08-15T00:44:23.987-07:00Please<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-small;">Note: the following is a character piece. The author wishes to assure everyone that she is, in fact, doing very well. Also, trigger warning: depression/suicide.</span></b><br />
<br />
I am so sick of inspirational stories. It seems like that's all I hear anymore, too. I know everyone is trying to be helpful, but I still feel like they're trying to rub in my face how different I am from them all--Look at what this person went through and still turned out totally awesome. Why can't you be like that? What's your problem? What's so terrible about your perfect life, then? Get over yourself. Just cheer up. You just need to pray more. Is there something you need to talk to the bishop about? No! I don't need to talk to the bishop! Are you saying it's my own fault? I can't cheer up! You think I haven't bloody well tried?! I'm so tired to trying to be strong. Can I just dig a hole and disappear somewhere?<br />
<br />
Why am I so hateful? What the hell is wrong with me? I'm so confused. There's nothing wrong with my life. I have the kind of life some people can only dream about. I have nothing to be unhappy about. What's wrong with me? What am I supposed to do?<br />
<br />
<br />
Turns out I've been sitting here staring at this blank paper for hours now. Not totally blank. I did copy down the first problem. I know I know how to do this. It isn't even hard. Why can't I think?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Missed my classes again today. Oops.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I keep telling my arm to move. It's ignoring me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Why am I so easily broken?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I don't think I want to die, but it's crossed my mind so much lately . . . I don't know anymore. Maybe I do. I know where to cut and how deep. If I do it in the shower, there won't be much mess to clean up. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I think I know why I keep thinking about dying or wrecking my car or whatever. I actually feel something then. Not just numb. I'm starting to feel less scared about it, though. It isn't that I want to die. I don't want to do anything. Can I just not exist?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm pathetic.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
can't even cry anymore<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
there's no good way to tell people you don't want to live anymore<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
maybe---------maybe if i walk out on that bridge tomorrow, someone will give me a reason to live<br />
there must be one<br />
if there isn't one, i can just jump<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
please<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
someone help me<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-38953517715873317682013-03-28T19:40:00.000-07:002013-03-28T19:40:11.009-07:00Epic ConundrumMost people can agree on most things: murder is wrong, drugs are stupid, Indiana Jones 4 never should have happened, and stealing forty cakes is just terrible.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDnP6-8OQO6CShYYKH7bIE65osj2s0GRUOZxpgVsmgseURWvhlOsGRXo9KkGf30fcJ-PggJxfFpFwhGdrawBgoiPVHSXn0XYZpcqejcQ697B9wgjifNV0yVWD5FQUlxKi-jOm5_hb-JYY/s1600/lexluthorcakes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDnP6-8OQO6CShYYKH7bIE65osj2s0GRUOZxpgVsmgseURWvhlOsGRXo9KkGf30fcJ-PggJxfFpFwhGdrawBgoiPVHSXn0XYZpcqejcQ697B9wgjifNV0yVWD5FQUlxKi-jOm5_hb-JYY/s320/lexluthorcakes.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
When things become more divisive, mankind usually turns to science. There are some questions, however, for which even science cannot provide a clear answer. In these circumstances, we find ourselves forced to rely on philosophical debate. Heaven help us all.<br />
<br />
Gay marriage is one of those things.<br />
<br />
One of the biggest arguments against gay marriage and homosexuality in general is that it's just plain gross. Inexperienced as I am, the idea of any kind of sexual contact skeeves me out. Should I shun my sexually active friends? Should Jews avoid me entirely because I happen to think bacon is tasty? Would it be best for my friends who like coleslaw to stop talking to me because I can't stand the stuff?<br />
<br />
There's the argument that children are entitled to a mother and a father. This holds no ground whatsoever because it falls apart as soon as someone brings up single parents. By this reasoning, any widow or widower with young children should be forced to either remarry or put their kids up for adoption. Couples with children would find it much more difficult to get a divorce, even if it were in the children's best interest. It just isn't sound reasoning.<br />
<br />
Economics also comes into play. The basic unit of society is the family. Families raise children to be productive members of society. It's how the system sustains itself. Homosexual couples do not produce children, and if you invest too much of a resource (adults) into something (homosexual couples) that will yield no return (children), then the system will deteriorate. This point is too weak to punch through tissue paper. The legality of gay marriage has little to no effect on the number of homosexuals, single or otherwise, and the argument does not address the matter of unmarried heterosexuals at all.<br />
<br />
Perhaps most prevalent is the argument that the Bible condemns homosexuality. It does. But not everyone is Christian. America was created by people who came looking to escape religious persecution. Freedom of religion is one of our core national principles. It is not fair to foist religious beliefs on someone else.<br />
<br />
So, since all these arguments against gay marriage are so easily debunked, I must support legalizing it, right? Here's where things get tricky. The answer is no.<br />
<br />
Honestly, this matter tears me apart. I love all my friends dearly and I hate knowing that my views to some seem bigoted, hurtful, and unfair. I may very well be a bigot. I do not deny that. But just as it is not fair to foist religious beliefs on someone else, it is not fair to ask me to give up my religion.<br />
<br />
Let me explain. I do not care whether you live with someone and I don't care what relationships you have, aside from the hope that they are healthy and happy. I'm totally okay with the civil union thing. But I cannot call it a marriage. To me, it would be like calling a soothsayer a prophet of God. They are not the same thing.<br />
<br />
I apologize from the bottom of my heart and soul for any hurt that you may feel because of this. I am so sorry. Know that I love you, even if my feelings on this matter cause a rift between us, though I hope that they do not.<br />
<br />
The reason the debate bothers me so much? I have nothing to support my stance aside from my belief in my religion. And I don't have any good answers. Maybe the government should deal only with civil unions? I don't know. And I am sorry. But this is what I believe. I cannot simply put it aside, though it might make life easier if I could. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-58960966980241586162013-02-25T20:41:00.001-08:002013-02-25T20:41:19.825-08:00AlfredI met a homeless man today as I was going to Walmart to get some WD-40 to fix my car. It insists that one of the doors is open when, in fact, it is not. His name is Alfred. The homeless guy, not my car. I bought him dinner at the fastfood place just inside. Not really sure why. All I've got is that at the time, it seemed the logical thing to do. No, not even that. I got nothing.<br />
<br />
Anyway, the two of us sat just outside the Walmart and talked while we ate our french fries. Alfred has been homeless for about 12 years now, and this is not the first time he's been homeless. He has cerebral palsy and back pain from an injury when he was young.<br />
<br />
I told him about my own jobless state. I got my BS degree in civil engineering. I've been looking for a job for several months.<br />
<br />
It was just interesting. I asked Alfred about what jobs he's had and about why he isn't working now. I'm sure this means nothing coming from someone like me, living my whole life as a member of the middle class, but it sounded like Alfred was making excuses to not even try. He has cerebral palsy, so he can't do much physical labor. If he gets a job, his SS check will decrease, and if something were to happen to the job, he'd be left high and dry. He can't afford an apartment.<br />
<br />
The whole time, I kept thinking of one of my dear friends named Michael. Michael has cerebral palsy as well. I met him in college. Currently, Michael is in law school. He's one of the brightest, kindest, happiest people I've ever met. <br />
<br />
I wonder, what is the key difference between the two? Probably in upbringing. And if I had been born in different circumstances, what would I be like? I guess it comes back to the classic nature vs. nurture debate. There's no way to know what might have been, but at the same time, I can't help but wonder.Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-9624255181665547902012-06-09T16:10:00.001-07:002012-06-09T16:12:09.350-07:00FurubadramaSo . . . this is a thing that happened. I can't help but be absurdly pleased that I get to participate in Jesuotaku's radio drama adaptation of Fruits Basket. At the same time, I'm not really pleased with my performance. I'm still relatively new to acting, and this is my first try at voice acting. Odds are pretty good that I'll improve with time.<br />
<br />
The video below is the first part of the first episode. I'm a replacement, so I don't actually show up in the series until the latest episode, "Running of the Bulls." You can find all the episodes of the radio drama at <a href="http://blip.tv/jesuotaku">blip.tv/jesuotaku</a>, and more information at <a href="http://furubadrama.weebly.com/">furubadrama.weebly.com</a>. JO and the crew have done a phenomenal job with the series, and I encourage you to check it out!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/iwaCXCXRgdg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-69617225967918796792011-06-25T22:59:00.000-07:002011-07-14T14:38:47.937-07:00kthxbai - The Princess and the FrogIf pressed to describe this movie in one word, I would have to say "disappointing."<br /><br />For those of you who haven't seen the movie, a brief summary:<br /><br />(spoilers!)<br /><br />Set in New Orleans in the roaring 20's, The Princess and the Frog is the story of a young woman working at least three jobs to try to realize her late father's dream of opening a restaurant on the river and of a young prince with an ambiguous accent who has been cut off by his family for being a good-for-nothing.<br /><br />Happy-go-lucky as the prince is, he has no qualms about <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TooDumbToLive">walking down a dark and deserted alley with a questionable stranger</a>. Said stranger, the shadowman, uses his incredible charisma to strike a deal with the prince's serving man and his mad voodoo powers to change the prince into a frog and the serving man into a copy of the prince, in human form.<br /><br />The serving man woos the rich girl to help the shadowman gain control of New Orleans for his "friends on the other side." They never really explain how this works.<br /><br />The prince mistakes our heroine, Tiana, for a princess during a costume party. He convinces her to kiss him, in hopes that voodoo works the same way as fairy tales. Since Tiana isn't really a princess, the spell backfires and they both end up frogs.<br /><br />Mad shenanigans ensue as the two of them try to dodge the shadowman's minions, encounter an alligator with a severe case of human envy, and try to find <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheDumbledore">Mama Odie</a>.<br /><br />Mama Odie does pretty much nothing for them, except to send them off in search of their one last hope--Tiana's Best Friend, Charlotte, is the Mardi Gras princess until midnight.<br /><br />They miss the midnight deadline and resign themselves to being frogs for the rest of their lives. After defeating the villain, of course.<br /><br />The prince and Tiana marry, and since that makes Tiana a princess, they transform into humans. They return to New Orleans, have an official wedding, and convince the real estate dealers to take Tiana's bid on the building through the influence of Tiana and the prince's friend, the alligator.<br /><br />And happily ever after yadda yadda yadda.<br /><br /><br />Okay, let's start with the alligator friend. His very existence is a Big Lipped Alligator Moment. He comes straight out of nowhere, he makes no sense, and he should never be mentioned again. That's three for three.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimoTnQpGdH9LzMKyZ0hbmJXcWXP8pREzFbFD6W-OZRec1o4TL_ozZ6m0MGpi6rpo-mtr4GLuOkyt-v2rBDMO7lCkwiPYwUfQcxC4aJ1D_PpX2meEAAvx9cRRLFJah5kcZOvvqETxy4Bh4/s1600/Abiglippedalligatormoment.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 136px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimoTnQpGdH9LzMKyZ0hbmJXcWXP8pREzFbFD6W-OZRec1o4TL_ozZ6m0MGpi6rpo-mtr4GLuOkyt-v2rBDMO7lCkwiPYwUfQcxC4aJ1D_PpX2meEAAvx9cRRLFJah5kcZOvvqETxy4Bh4/s320/Abiglippedalligatormoment.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629090470092298850" border="0" /></a><br />Next: "It is not slime! It is mucus!"<br />One and the same, friend. Read you a book.<br /><br />Okay, for serious now.<br /><br />I had heard a lot of good things about this movie, and I enjoyed the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Frog-Princess-Tales/dp/1582347999">book</a> that inspired it. I wasn't expecting an instant classic when I went in to this movie, but I was expecting a bit more.<br /><br />We'll start with the positive.<br /><br />The villain is pretty cool. He has a legit motive and pretty spiffy magic skillz. What's more, his evil plan actually makes sense.<br /><br />Most of the characters have real depth. The animation is colorful and fun, especially with the shadows. The heroine's back story is well established and she has bigger ambitions than just to get married.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong--marriage is a wonderful thing. I just think that a person should have more goals than just marriage. Finding someone to spend the rest of your life with is something that a person has little control over. Also, marriage is just the starting point on a new phase of life, not a destination. Having marriage as your only life goal is like saying, "For my walk today, I'm going out the front door of my house!"<br /><br />Anyway, moving on.<br /><br />The songs are fun, but kind of forgettable. Also, they don't seem nearly as great when taken outside the context of the movie. It's like they're only awesome by comparison to their setting, which is sad.<br /><br />Speaking of setting, I wouldn't have known this movie was set in the roaring 20's if not for wikipedia. The setting seemed like it was just painted on over the movie like cheap varnish. It just didn't feel like New Orleans in the 20's. And it seemed like the creators were aware of that, too, because the movie kept practically screaming, "Hey! I'm in the SOUTH!"<br /><br />The depth of Tiana's character is wasted when she inexplicably falls in love with Prince Naveen. (Yeah, he does have a name. I guess Disney is making progress.) Tiana and Naveen have nothing in common and are only together for a few hours before they're both ready to tie the knot. What?! Explain, movie! Explain!<br /><br />Mostly, this movie ranks along the lines of 'okay.' The tipping point for me, though, is the whole bit with the evening star. Disney's been backtracking a lot recently with the whole wish upon a star thing. The way it's handled in The Princess and the Frog takes the cake.<br /><br />Remember kids, it's not enough just to wish on a star!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDhwUdKl1aCVTNxyVNZkB0j8bcVDkGUF_Etf8Wn7Fnv2UjCSBHDR-FzfA8GipKG7omhqeP8OcVegvtB4bvpFr7adXmsZqM5sWDXrPaMrltZam1ccGO0bwNdX3jd7RdOKNNJivckrZKXLA/s1600/extortion.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 212px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDhwUdKl1aCVTNxyVNZkB0j8bcVDkGUF_Etf8Wn7Fnv2UjCSBHDR-FzfA8GipKG7omhqeP8OcVegvtB4bvpFr7adXmsZqM5sWDXrPaMrltZam1ccGO0bwNdX3jd7RdOKNNJivckrZKXLA/s320/extortion.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629324610825540946" border="0" /></a><br />You should rely on extortion, too!<br /><br />The Princess and the Frog rating: borrow it<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgytt9rmr1lkWiMN7iarB4cw5tqdBekHvVTCASSgMp2lxt-yN51ml7lesTWmLEUO8yLg40ZFktmaz0S0P6BnRCXdIl8k7VaZ-uYYCkt7obnLUz6ZYflRTe9G6emt3CN4vuEerZB4DRN0WI/s1600/borrow+it.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 242px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgytt9rmr1lkWiMN7iarB4cw5tqdBekHvVTCASSgMp2lxt-yN51ml7lesTWmLEUO8yLg40ZFktmaz0S0P6BnRCXdIl8k7VaZ-uYYCkt7obnLUz6ZYflRTe9G6emt3CN4vuEerZB4DRN0WI/s320/borrow+it.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5629325538664628930" border="0" /></a>Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-591816184455466052011-06-24T13:49:00.000-07:002011-06-24T13:56:17.840-07:00A QuestionThe thought crossed my mind to create a new series of posts, either on this blog or on its own, called "Dating 203." The posts would be formatted as lessons on the various aspects of dating and the female psyche that seem to baffle most people. I would like the posts to be peer edited, just to add to the lulz.<br /><br />My question is, do you all think this would be a good idea? If so, would you be willing to be a peer editor? It would consist entirely of reading the post before I make it public and let me know if it's lame. :)Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-57352190689340049402011-06-20T16:12:00.000-07:002012-11-07T13:48:32.904-08:00A Dozen Dumb Things to Do on a Date<div>
We here at the Life and Times realize that there are many, many dumb things a person can do on a date. However, we decided to list only those things within our own experiences.</div>
<br />
<br />
<div>
</div>
1. Use crude humor<br />
<br />
<div>
This is just a turn-off. It brings to mind high school, and no one wants to live through that again.</div>
<br />
<div>
2. Say "just kidding" after everything you say</div>
<br />
<div>
Aside from being incredibly annoying, this smacks of insecurity. Also, give the girl some credit. She can probably recognize a joke when she hears one.</div>
<br />
<div>
3. Go to dinner and a movie for the first date</div>
<br />
<div>
Dinner and a movie is not a bad date idea. Just be sure to establish that you can both stand each other's company BEFORE you try it. First dates are awkward enough without adding awkward dinner conversation and the awkwardness of sitting next to each other for a good two hours without saying anything.</div>
<br />
<div>
</div>
4. Don't listen to a word she says<br />
<br />
<div>
I should think this is fairly self explanatory. Rude!</div>
<br />
<div>
Similarly, don't make the girl carry the conversation by herself. Take an equal part in the discussion.</div>
<br />
<div>
5. Don't leave a tip</div>
<br />
<div>
Seriously, if you can't afford to leave a tip, you can't afford to take the girl out. Next.</div>
<br />
6. Ask for a student discount at the dollar theater<br />
<br />
<div>
This could be a good joke. Unfortunately, it was not a joke. See #5. Jerk.</div>
<br />
<div>
7. Leave the girl no personal space whatsoever</div>
<br />
<div>
You do not get to sit on her lap. No. Crowding the girl is rude, and it makes her uncomfortable. Just use the same spacing that you do with friends. </div>
<br />
<div>
Conversely, don't hide from the girl, either. Again, use the same spacing you would with a friend. This is the sort of thing that you have to call on a case-by-case basis, but the odds are good that she won't appreciate a lap warmer on the first date.</div>
<br />
<div>
8. Check your email. Twice</div>
<br />
If you're not interested in the girl, end the date. Otherwise, you're wasting your time and hers.<br />
<br />
<div>
9. Make the date last eight hours</div>
<br />
<div>
The best dates are short dates, in our humble opinion. If things are working out, take her out frequently on short dates. If things don't work out, a short date minimizes the time you have to spend together.</div>
<br />
<div>
10. Be more interested in the xbox than your date</div>
<br />
<div>
Using the girl to get access to her brother's xbox is despicable. If you're at your date's place and see that there's an xbox, it's fine to play--if she also wants to. If you pester her into playing, you've used her and become a terrible human being.</div>
<br />
<div>
11. Say "I love you" after dating for only a week and a half</div>
<br />
<div>
Can you say creepy? My colleagues think I should make allowances, since this occurred in Utah. That's no excuse. Things may happen quickly in Mormonville, UT, but that does not make it acceptable.</div>
<br />
<div>
12. Go to the temple<br />
<br />
I was tricked on this one. A young gentleman in the ward asked for help to do baptisms for family names. I replied that I would be only too happy to help. He then asked if I wanted to make a date of it. Foul!<br />
<br />
It's bad enough to plan on a date to the temple, but to trick a girl into one is disgusting. The temple is not an appropriate date spot. No. No no no. The amount of fail involved here is nearly epic.<br />
<br />
<br />
Thank you, friends. Now go out there and make a heaven of hell!<br />
Ciao!</div>
Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-35520495055121974182011-04-25T16:36:00.000-07:002011-05-05T21:01:49.284-07:00Happily Ever After in 6 Easy StepsEvery girl wants to live happily ever after with the prince of her dreams! To make this easier for girls everywhere, I have painstakingly gone through every animated fairy tale ever made and condensed the steps to happily ever after in these simple steps!<br /><br />1. Pretty name<br /><br />The name is usually the first thing that the prince asks for. It is imperative that your name grab and hold his interest and assure him that you are no scullery maid material. Unless you're a princess disguised as a scullery maid.<br /><br />Below is a flow chart to use to determine whether or not your name may qualify as a truly 'beautiful name.'<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWfRxLWyY6UaaZLi6VngsI1VB9cu2g9t2T1HeLWcZPXMOklvdPTn3bQAOd1yzB8M6__pSh2pSYYUX9Q8BlbFzyvKIcidyBLt11fmg5hVmYubwRSjpSvc4eJDkI_fF_YY_zjaldjuHyPRE/s1600/Image4.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 215px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWfRxLWyY6UaaZLi6VngsI1VB9cu2g9t2T1HeLWcZPXMOklvdPTn3bQAOd1yzB8M6__pSh2pSYYUX9Q8BlbFzyvKIcidyBLt11fmg5hVmYubwRSjpSvc4eJDkI_fF_YY_zjaldjuHyPRE/s320/Image4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600500157575278642" border="0" /></a><br />Yeah, I actually can't help you with that one. Maybe introduce yourself to random strangers and keep track of their reactions to your name.<br /><br />If your name is not as pretty as you would like, find a way to leave without saying your name at all. This will add a bit of mystery to your allure.<br /><br />If you have money to burn, you could always legally change your name.<br /><br />2. Pretty singing voice<br /><!--[if !mso]> <style> v\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} o\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} w\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} .shape {behavior:url(#default#VML);} </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><br />You get bonus points if you run through a field with your arms outstretched and sing about how you want something more.<br /><br />3. Pretty face<br /><br />This one's easy. If you're not born with it, there's always plastic surgery. Just be sure you don't overdo it.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqp1_aR7Qfl6H-mcf1y9RCqXaXn06bLJ6rW1EH_MLBwCe0VERjXJsbDhLsGCG3sPvB_PCZQhAKDvmZRaF16EdZMwfxR8D29n2akaJlD7GXuv3YwkGPfAXKLRF2h6rkNnirEojuRxWE4VY/s1600/michael-jackson.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 161px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqp1_aR7Qfl6H-mcf1y9RCqXaXn06bLJ6rW1EH_MLBwCe0VERjXJsbDhLsGCG3sPvB_PCZQhAKDvmZRaF16EdZMwfxR8D29n2akaJlD7GXuv3YwkGPfAXKLRF2h6rkNnirEojuRxWE4VY/s200/michael-jackson.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5603445344793668226" border="0" /></a><br />Yeah.<br /><br />4. Pretty dress<br /><br />This one can be as easy or as difficult as you choose to make it. You could just go out and buy one, but you'd forfeit big points for mouse-made materials.<br /><br />5. Animal friend<br /><br />Magical animal friends are hard to come by these days. If you can't find one, you may have to do with a well-trained squirrel.<br /><br />6. Prince<br /><br />Princes are even harder to find than magical animal friends, but it can be done! The previous steps can be done in any order, but it is imperative that this is the final step. It is also the most difficult.<br /><br />Arrange a 'chance meeting,' preferably near an open field (see step 2). Sing as he comes and make sure you look great. He will, of course, fall in love with you instantly because that's just what princes do.<br /><br />The chance meeting is the hard part. It may require stalking and other not entirely legal activities. However, all is fair in love and war, and given the extreme shortage of princes, your own happily ever after definitely qualifies as both.<br /><br />I trust that once you have your prince madly in love with you and your magical animal friend, or at least a squirrel, cheering you on, you can handle it from there.<br /><br />Happy ever after!Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-89021333519139163302010-12-28T00:42:00.000-08:002010-12-30T21:25:26.692-08:00Fairy Tale Scrutiny - Week 3<div>This week we're taking on the classic tale of Cinderella as presented by Shelley Duvall's Faerie Tale Theatre. You can see it <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/112385/shelley-duvalls-faerie-tale-theatre-cinderella">here</a>! </div><br /><div> </div><br /><div>So I forgot to finish this post which I was writing on my sister's computer instead of my own for untold reasons, so she hijacked it and started filling my post with nonsense! </div><br /><div> </div><br /><div> riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend </div><br /><div>of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to</div><br /><div>Howth Castle and Environs.</div><br /><div> Sir Tristram, violer d'amores, fr'over the short sea, had passen-</div><br /><div>core rearrived from North Armorica on this side the scraggy</div><br /><div>isthmus of Europe Minor to wielderfight his penisolate war: nor</div><br /><div>had topsawyer's rocks by the stream Oconee exaggerated themselse</div><br /><div>to Laurens County's gorgios while they went doublin their mumper</div><br /><div>all the time: nor avoice from afire bellowsed mishe mishe to</div><br /><div>tauftauf thuartpeatrick: not yet, though venissoon after, had a</div><br /><div>kidscad buttended a bland old isaac: not yet, though all's fair in</div><br /><div>vanessy, were sosie sesthers wroth with twone nathandjoe. </div>Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-61654414594842786542010-12-16T22:13:00.000-08:002011-03-02T21:26:24.846-08:00The Barbie Movie Drinking GameFor all of us who take care of little girls or are driven by finals week to do <span style="font-style: italic;">strange</span> things:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Barbie Movie Drinking Game!</span></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size:85%;">WARNING: DO NOT DRINK ANY BEVERAGE CONTAINING ALCOHOL FOR THIS GAME. YOU WILL DIE.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">Take a drink if<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> There is a racially ambiguous best friend<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Barbie is playing a role she's too old for<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Kelly shows up<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Another if her name isn't Kelly, but it rhymes<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Barbie is the only person with pink eyeshadow<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span>Barbie's whole room is pink<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span>The villain has a goatee<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> The personification of animals includes makeup<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> There's a forbidden or enchanted forest<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> There's a deus ex machina</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> There's an 'outtakes reel'<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> With an extra for each 'outtake' with the animal sidekick<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> The music doesn't match the story<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Another if the credits are even worse<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> There's an obvious Designated Love Interest sighting<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> The DLI's name rhymes with Eric</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> The DLI's hair is slicked back</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> There's a role reversal between a tyrannical supervisor and a servant/slave<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> The villain is the most detailed character</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><br />Not quite dead? Good!<br /><br />Take a drink every time<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Barbie says "I'm not a child anymore!" or "You don't understand me!"<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Barbie's hair moves as one solid mass<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Barbie's hair is in a weird up-do</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Barbie's hair makes you want to die</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> A set of twins share sentences<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> People with accents turn out to be either comic relief or evil<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Kelly whines<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> The Aryan </span>character is favored as bravest, prettiest, etc.<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> The animal subplot is annoying as hell<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Tchaikovsky is abused/rolls in his grave<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span>Barbie's outfit is anachronistic<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Barbie wears a choker<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Everyone is completely oblivious to </span>something utterly out of place<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> They try at evil foreshadowing</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> There's a 'something wicked this way comes' moment<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> There's a 'beauty and the beast' transformation scene<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> There's a 'does the rolling help?' moment</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Someone makes a buzzer noise<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> There's a name like 'cloud kingdom'<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span>A horse looks reptilian<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Barbie's Mary Sue powers activate<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> You find yourself wishing bodily harm on the protagonist<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> You say 'kill me'</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> The villain uses a pun</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Or other anachronistic phrase</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> The animal sidekick talks</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> The animal sidekick uses a pun<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> An animal sings</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span>ANYONE refers to themselves in third person<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> A threat falls victim to its own stupidity<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> The animation style of the scenery doesn't match the people<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span>The people are inappropriately dressed for the weather<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span>Provisions magically appear<br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> There's a flashback</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Someone uses a stupid catch phrase<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> An animal is evil for no reason<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Barbie and DLI speak in unison<br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:78%;">\~/</span> People hug without really touching</span> - this one alone will kill you<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSo7KeuOGCiDxm8EoBk6ckGPLRDwnz7bOJxI_DhzYR3Zaw7duYBbQ6_ULAfShM3KmzORjg4GH2kZ-kzwbF8KjlQQx6K_mxIifi8gqJsW7rw088UoHCr93jIANWZANgzIKuKSxUJF2JdjQ/s1600/shameless+2.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSo7KeuOGCiDxm8EoBk6ckGPLRDwnz7bOJxI_DhzYR3Zaw7duYBbQ6_ULAfShM3KmzORjg4GH2kZ-kzwbF8KjlQQx6K_mxIifi8gqJsW7rw088UoHCr93jIANWZANgzIKuKSxUJF2JdjQ/s320/shameless+2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5579720718203186914" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht67BCYQxvcc23hl-HX3REGu-WYcKEwmS6F38T4wC4v2b0D9UbJrit1mBC439_NT-tV1pF219aCgB_ZTtr6imRVXzZ5K6ZuzAoveP4RvkO4m8lT0wYSle9KpKAdvhD3-gN5gUo7WJB9JQ/s1600/shameless.jpg"><br /></a><br /></div></div>Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-64452885651424125002010-12-14T08:08:00.000-08:002010-12-14T08:10:11.077-08:00Fairy Tale Scrutiny - Week 2It's finals week, so I'm afraid this is all you get.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKMtvQkvZo7HSCR3akRZcoimJFEWKcw9c5TLLkYgO8zL6au7CAKAMjpo39heDRWFW1MGW3UI2b3G6Fsm6YQgHVKtgwby1PLp9lkpL5KYVV9s4nVbzH4WDkK1X6OAol3lG_BAWYYIaV5o0/s1600/Change-Back-beast-6933557-300-225.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKMtvQkvZo7HSCR3akRZcoimJFEWKcw9c5TLLkYgO8zL6au7CAKAMjpo39heDRWFW1MGW3UI2b3G6Fsm6YQgHVKtgwby1PLp9lkpL5KYVV9s4nVbzH4WDkK1X6OAol3lG_BAWYYIaV5o0/s400/Change-Back-beast-6933557-300-225.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5550570789025003666" border="0" /></a>Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-63509486741342920442010-12-07T21:38:00.000-08:002010-12-09T22:21:49.417-08:00Fairy Tale Scrutiny - Week 1Have you ever taken a close look at the stories you loved as a kid? They're pretty messed up. As an example, let's take a look at one of my personal favorites, "East of the Sun and West of the Moon."<br /><br />The story starts out with a very poor family with several children huddled together in their cottage, trying to ward off the winter's bitter cold. There's a knock at the door, and the father answers it to find a polar bear.<br /><br />Fairy tale. Okay, whatever. What happens next is messed up no matter how you look at it. The polar bear told the father that he would grant the family riches in exchange for the youngest daughter's hand in marriage.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRurW4vepo-tyiDshPV1V5V5Kihi6NR5CKQuyh0TrT8tTwhyS2zV7NT_NUYzH8IcWGqvL-s-PsaG9A0Y7A5PQR80lfLlTFjCQhyLCea5GI8ZIif6MiFPmYg6dCa8z6Ys0WdvcxA_4xSlU/s1600/skeptic.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 38px; height: 37px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRurW4vepo-tyiDshPV1V5V5Kihi6NR5CKQuyh0TrT8tTwhyS2zV7NT_NUYzH8IcWGqvL-s-PsaG9A0Y7A5PQR80lfLlTFjCQhyLCea5GI8ZIif6MiFPmYg6dCa8z6Ys0WdvcxA_4xSlU/s400/skeptic.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548330062614195250" border="0" /></a><br />The father says that he'll have to ask his daughter about it. Wait, what? A <span style="font-style: italic;">bear</span> just asked you if it could have your youngest daughter. A BEAR! Maybe he's an enchanted prince or something. Fairy tale. Fine.<br /><br />The girl says no outright. Good for her!<br /><br />The father tells the bear to come back in a week. What? What?!<br />During the following week, the father pestered the girl until she agreed to accept the bear's offer.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYVn0RWAty4pCQ0EHY0Mf7S7-AQfXgJC09tVrH40kS02pt61xp8K0-g3DNxAi5ApxQVrd-ncNWXNdxUEXPPr4AV3vC0p5Ol2oh77QlygRgxNGZf6h1tRAVDVbdrSxAVZ6h8Vxh7JjnAlQ/s1600/feminist+rage.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 41px; height: 42px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYVn0RWAty4pCQ0EHY0Mf7S7-AQfXgJC09tVrH40kS02pt61xp8K0-g3DNxAi5ApxQVrd-ncNWXNdxUEXPPr4AV3vC0p5Ol2oh77QlygRgxNGZf6h1tRAVDVbdrSxAVZ6h8Vxh7JjnAlQ/s400/feminist+rage.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548332541669804210" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >FEMINIST RAGE!</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">This father obviously has no love for any of his children, selling off his baby girl for a song to a bear. A polar bear. A large, carnivorous wild animal. I don't care if it can talk; it's still a polar bear.<br /><br />So the girl leaves with the bear. Imagine how she feels now. She just discovered that her father does not love her at all and she's riding on the back of a beast that could quite easily just eat her, and probably would, once it had had its fill of bestiality. Ew.<br /><br />The bear asked the girl if she was afraid. She said no, she wasn't. Would you want to admit fear, under those circumstances? Allow the poor girl what little dignity is left her.<br /><br />The bear takes the girl to a mountain and knocks on a cliff wall. The wall opens up to a magnificent underground palace. The bear takes the girl inside and the wall closes behind them. The young girl should be thinking something along the lines of, "I'm trapped. There's no way out. Oh gods above, please help me." Should be. She's just amazed at how pretty everything is and thinks of how hungry she is and how she would like a bath. I guess she is her father's daughter after all.<br /><br />The bear gives the girl, who, as is typical of fairy tales, never gets a name, a silver bell. If she needs anything, she's supposed to ring it. Instant escape! *ding ding*<br /><br />. . .<br /><br />Dangit.<br /><br />Actually, she doesn't even try. We'll say she's in shock and isn't thinking clearly. She wishes for dinner and a magnificent meal magically appears. After she has eaten her fill, she decides it's bedtime. *ding* Suddenly she finds herself in a huge bedroom which she assumes is now her room. Reasonable enough, yes? Until she goes to bed and just as she's about to fall asleep, all the lights, including the fire, go out and someone lies down in the bed next to her.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMjkmjIhYDkQX0fu5I4E8qvhaCx6SHAsUMStcFvFe3YfWSTTABHA8vHhbGfr04K4yODLuWw4KvBFGT_KOKTltiPXv7POELA-xkl8SIYwFbhma4gUr1tGlkiIo5AaAdV-Eeb4_cqwC4DsI/s1600/creeped+out.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 54px; height: 59px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMjkmjIhYDkQX0fu5I4E8qvhaCx6SHAsUMStcFvFe3YfWSTTABHA8vHhbGfr04K4yODLuWw4KvBFGT_KOKTltiPXv7POELA-xkl8SIYwFbhma4gUr1tGlkiIo5AaAdV-Eeb4_cqwC4DsI/s200/creeped+out.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548801205131332626" border="0" /></a>Seriously, what is this? It's not enough to make the girl freeze all night, but you're making her share a room? With a total stranger? Who is this person? Is it a woman? A man? A troll? Perfect. You move into a palace with a bear and have to share a room, and a bed, with a troll. GET ME OUT OF HERE! *ding ding ding ding ding*<br /><br />Still not working.<br /><br />It turns out that the mysterious bedfellow is actually the polar bear himself. He changes into a man at night, but no one is allowed to see his face. . . . I'm still creeped out. In fact, I may even be more creeped out now. Yep, I think I am.<br /><br />Anyway, life continues like this, with the girl passing her days pretty much by herself and spending the nights with the polar bear/man sleeping next to her. After a while, the girl starts to feel homesick. The polar bear told her that she could visit home, but she must promise not to walk and talk alone with her mother.<br /><br />Um, okay? Honestly, what's with this? Is it okay for the girl to spill her guts to her sister, then? How about her whole family? What is so significant about walking and talking alone with her mother?<br /><br />Whatever. The girl promises and gets to spend a week with her family. They are now living in comfort in a grand house. Everyone is overjoyed to see her and-<br /><br />Excuse me?<br /><br />I could not, for the life of me, find a smiley that conveyed the proper mix of skepticism and annoyance, so this gets a ninja instead.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihJoyv4LBufvQwUsU8iIfiUCgPC5vnC5ieMwXy3GQuXQWc89xFlD6lrPUPkRYMQnbtJXeV9UisIgc__bwuCMtj6CjyIVWSvtiEYlA2fH6p8ihG8KjQV8AxNCsFC-mWFwH8GU7239Zluiw/s1600/ninja.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 43px; height: 42px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihJoyv4LBufvQwUsU8iIfiUCgPC5vnC5ieMwXy3GQuXQWc89xFlD6lrPUPkRYMQnbtJXeV9UisIgc__bwuCMtj6CjyIVWSvtiEYlA2fH6p8ihG8KjQV8AxNCsFC-mWFwH8GU7239Zluiw/s200/ninja.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548802511587857474" border="0" /></a><br />Moving on. The week goes by and the girl manages to avoid walking and talking alone with her mother, despite her mother's best efforts. Finally, on the last day of the visit, the mother corners the girl and she tells her mother everything. Her mother is horribly worried about the nightly visitor and-<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihJoyv4LBufvQwUsU8iIfiUCgPC5vnC5ieMwXy3GQuXQWc89xFlD6lrPUPkRYMQnbtJXeV9UisIgc__bwuCMtj6CjyIVWSvtiEYlA2fH6p8ihG8KjQV8AxNCsFC-mWFwH8GU7239Zluiw/s1600/ninja.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 43px; height: 42px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihJoyv4LBufvQwUsU8iIfiUCgPC5vnC5ieMwXy3GQuXQWc89xFlD6lrPUPkRYMQnbtJXeV9UisIgc__bwuCMtj6CjyIVWSvtiEYlA2fH6p8ihG8KjQV8AxNCsFC-mWFwH8GU7239Zluiw/s200/ninja.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548802511587857474" border="0" /></a><br />You sold this girl to a bear. NOW you're worried about her safety? Fail.<br /><br />The mother gives the girl a candle and flint and convinces her to get a look at the man and make sure he isn't a troll or something.<br /><br />And what does the girl do? You guessed it. She went BACK with the bear rather than staying with her family, and that night, she lit the candle and looked at the man she had been sleeping next to for months. Wrong promise to break, you ninny. You should have stayed home.<br /><br />Just wait; it gets better. The man is a handsome prince and the girl falls instantly in love with him. In fact, she feels that if she does not kiss him right then and there, she'll die.<br /><br />. . .<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYVn0RWAty4pCQ0EHY0Mf7S7-AQfXgJC09tVrH40kS02pt61xp8K0-g3DNxAi5ApxQVrd-ncNWXNdxUEXPPr4AV3vC0p5Ol2oh77QlygRgxNGZf6h1tRAVDVbdrSxAVZ6h8Vxh7JjnAlQ/s1600/feminist+rage.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 41px; height: 42px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYVn0RWAty4pCQ0EHY0Mf7S7-AQfXgJC09tVrH40kS02pt61xp8K0-g3DNxAi5ApxQVrd-ncNWXNdxUEXPPr4AV3vC0p5Ol2oh77QlygRgxNGZf6h1tRAVDVbdrSxAVZ6h8Vxh7JjnAlQ/s400/feminist+rage.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548332541669804210" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >FEMINIST RAGE!</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">As she leans forward to kiss him, she spills some wax on the guy and he wakes up. Brilliant.<br /><br />"What have you done?" he cried. In just three months the spell would have been broken. Gee, that would have been nice to know a bit sooner, you blithering idiot. Now, as per the curse, the prince must go to the castle east of the sun and west of the moon to marry the troll princess with a nose three ells long.<br /><br />lolwut? Um, okay. That's unique, I guess. BTW - 1 ell is anywhere from 27 to 45 inches long.<br /><br />Anyway, everything vanishes and the girl is left alone in a forest with nothing but the rags she brought with her to begin with. She of course takes the most logical course of action left to her and cries herself sick. Shock, remember.<br /><br />After she's had her cry, the girl set off to find the castle east of the sun and west of the moon to rescue her true love.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihJoyv4LBufvQwUsU8iIfiUCgPC5vnC5ieMwXy3GQuXQWc89xFlD6lrPUPkRYMQnbtJXeV9UisIgc__bwuCMtj6CjyIVWSvtiEYlA2fH6p8ihG8KjQV8AxNCsFC-mWFwH8GU7239Zluiw/s1600/ninja.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 43px; height: 42px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihJoyv4LBufvQwUsU8iIfiUCgPC5vnC5ieMwXy3GQuXQWc89xFlD6lrPUPkRYMQnbtJXeV9UisIgc__bwuCMtj6CjyIVWSvtiEYlA2fH6p8ihG8KjQV8AxNCsFC-mWFwH8GU7239Zluiw/s200/ninja.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548802511587857474" border="0" /></a><br />She walked for days and finally came to an old hag. She told the hag her story and the hag told her that she had no idea of the way to the castle, but she would let the girl borrow her horse to ask her neighbor. Oh, and have a golden apple.<br /><br />Okay, so there's an old lady, presumably senile and practically debilitated, who prefers to live in squalor when she could sell the golden apple and live in relative comfort for the rest of her life. This apple must mean a lot to her, then. And she gave it to a total stranger. Right.<br /><br />Moving on. The neighbor was another old hag with a gold carding comb. She didn't know either, so she sent the girl to her other neighbor. Care to take a guess who it is? That's right! It's another old hag living in squalor with a fortune sitting in a lump of gold, this time in the shape of a spinning wheel.<br /><br />The third hag sends the girl on her way with her newly acquired golden apple, carding comb, and spinning wheel to another neighbor. Another hag? No! It's the East Wind!<br /><br />Rly? The East Wind? No way! I want to meet the East Wind! Awesome!<br /><br />So the East Wind says he has no idea where the castle is, but his brother the West Wind might know. Does this sound familiar? At least the East Wind doesn't give her any more stuff to carry. He carried her to the West Wind who takes her to the South Wind, who takes her to the North Wind. Motion sick yet?<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU-PXKOBtKFSealZyAKDhnFocfwJqE1AsJdfQCvwWzbnlnjFNJuhWYfCbLVhpjHONePsuExqK-dv8NAY2B6zf1NQ7sAyTF1qOaVZYHHF4YpGE7FAGxC1CMvZlgQZECM5ctX_vAK82p0iQ/s1600/sick.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 45px; height: 44px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU-PXKOBtKFSealZyAKDhnFocfwJqE1AsJdfQCvwWzbnlnjFNJuhWYfCbLVhpjHONePsuExqK-dv8NAY2B6zf1NQ7sAyTF1qOaVZYHHF4YpGE7FAGxC1CMvZlgQZECM5ctX_vAK82p0iQ/s200/sick.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548841597867842338" border="0" /></a>The North Wind fortunately has been to the castle east of the sun and west of the moon. He says he would take her there in the morning, since it would take all day to get there.<br /><br />The next morning, they speed off over cliff and cavern, crevasse and chasm, cave and canyon, helter-skelter to the shore of an island. The North Wind collapses within sight of the castle east of the sun and west of the moon.<br /><br />Hooray! Now the girl can go and save the prince through her cunning plan to . . . um . . . yeah.<br /><br />The girl goes up to the castle and sits outside playing with her golden apple. Excuse me, what? You walked for days, spoke to three old hags who gave you heavy things to carry with you, traveled with the winds over cliff and cavern, crevasse and chasm, cave and canyon, helter-skelter to this castle to save your beloved prince, and you <span style="font-style: italic;">sit</span> there playing with an <span style="font-style: italic;">apple</span>? What the Belgium?!<br /><br />And as if it wasn't crazy enough to begin with, it works! The princess with the nose three ells long sees the apple and decides she wants it.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHH-gkAUX0AkNfrQwqZD0VB58e5gLI2cbnvY93ARXKjM8RVFc6DL7k5FqqNvr-Z3xLaFAEI25j-PxDIXQAsK5NX1dab8HUbf-5xaCsXiOvUi3LKdTstO4YSpmm0rHOH38ZLihzXbTi68Y/s1600/princess.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 61px; height: 61px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHH-gkAUX0AkNfrQwqZD0VB58e5gLI2cbnvY93ARXKjM8RVFc6DL7k5FqqNvr-Z3xLaFAEI25j-PxDIXQAsK5NX1dab8HUbf-5xaCsXiOvUi3LKdTstO4YSpmm0rHOH38ZLihzXbTi68Y/s200/princess.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548920771695443986" border="0" /></a>The girl says that she will only trade the apple for a chance to see the prince alone. Princess Long Nose agrees and tells the girl to come to the castle gates at sunset.<br /><br />Dash it all, I just have to give the girl a name. How about Ninny? That's a good name for this chick.<br /><br />So Ninny shows up at the castle at sunset and is taken to the prince's room. She rushes to Prince Clod's side-- and he's asleep. Ninny tries all night to wake him, but only succeeds in keeping everyone else in the castle east of the sun and west of the moon awake. In the morning, Ninny is sent back outside.<br /><br />Ninny tries again with the carding comb. Same deal. Same thing happens. She tries with the spinning wheel. Same deal.<br /><br />Now, some of the people Ninny had been keeping up all night were some good people held prisoner by the trolls. They manage to tell Prince Clod about the beautiful young girl who had visited him the past two nights and tried desperately to wake him. From that, Prince Clod deduces that Princess Long Nose was giving him drugged wine and resolved to not drink any that night.<br /><br />When Ninny went in to see her prince, he was wide awake. They swapped sob stories and then set to work on their masterful escape plan: Ninny was going to wash his shirt.<br /><br />I'm serious; that's the plan. The next day is the wedding and the prince declares that before he marries Princess Long Nose, he wants to see if she's good for anything. He asks her to wash his nightshirt with the drops of wax Ninny spilled on it.<br /><br />Yeah. I was a little hesitant, but I think this calls for another instance of<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYVn0RWAty4pCQ0EHY0Mf7S7-AQfXgJC09tVrH40kS02pt61xp8K0-g3DNxAi5ApxQVrd-ncNWXNdxUEXPPr4AV3vC0p5Ol2oh77QlygRgxNGZf6h1tRAVDVbdrSxAVZ6h8Vxh7JjnAlQ/s1600/feminist+rage.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 41px; height: 42px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYVn0RWAty4pCQ0EHY0Mf7S7-AQfXgJC09tVrH40kS02pt61xp8K0-g3DNxAi5ApxQVrd-ncNWXNdxUEXPPr4AV3vC0p5Ol2oh77QlygRgxNGZf6h1tRAVDVbdrSxAVZ6h8Vxh7JjnAlQ/s400/feminist+rage.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548332541669804210" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >FEMINIST RAGE!</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: left;">Anyway, trolls can't wash, so the more the troll princess tried, the muckier the shirt got.<br /><br />I know. Just roll with it.<br /><br />Finally, Prince Clod declares that Princess Long Nose isn't worth salt and calls in Ninny as an example of just how worthless the troll princess is: 'Look! Even a human beggar can do that!'<br /><br />Ninny takes the shirt and, of course, it becomes sparkly clean almost before she even starts washing. The troll princess and all the rest of the trolls are so enraged by this turn of events that they all burst on the spot. This is not a cop out. They all just explode and Ninny has a lot more washing to do.<br /><br />So Ninny and Prince Clod save all the good people and everyone escapes from the castle east of the sun and west of the moon and they all live happily ever after. Ninja.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></div><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></div><br /></div></div></div></div>Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-76561186984812461472010-11-16T13:22:00.000-08:002011-03-02T18:37:14.010-08:00PotentialYou know what? Twilight had potential.<br /><br />Think of it - whiny brat girl moves in with her dad to give her mom alone time with her new hubby. Okay so far. The girl starts out at a new school and catches the eye of one of the weird kids. Still okay.<br /><br />We continue the story and Whiny Brat Girl and Weird Boy get closer to having a relationship, but Whiny Brat Girl is suspicious of Weird Boy and tries to figure out why he's so weird. Turns out Weird Boy is actually Vampire!<br /><br />The vampires have a sort of reign of terror over the whole town. They keep things pretty normal because they like it that way. Whiny Brat Girl is afraid to jilt the undead cretin because he would eat her. She may even have conflicting emotions because she finds herself attracted to Vampire.<br /><br />It takes fear of abusive boyfriend to a whole new level. There's potential for character development as Whiny Brat Girl learns to get past her own petty complaints. And what does she do? Does she continue to live in fear that her boyfriend will eat her? Does she run? Does she find a way to defend herself? Does she even want to?<br /><br />It had potential. Too bad.Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-70540747258418755912010-11-05T13:36:00.000-07:002010-11-05T13:45:41.259-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7Oyb4s1nC_NjE7WEoqwdQQYCeyHK_uv8IRaD1GgVX5B-AQBF3yuLMbKQS6xVHKOiYXcg7iw9ZxnXLjTO4xvRp7ys2WrT7hEsqcK400tTjWg6LODs_l8we3vuxcfwU0bIKjlGysj-aIMs/s1600/WFP+video+contest+flier.png"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 302px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7Oyb4s1nC_NjE7WEoqwdQQYCeyHK_uv8IRaD1GgVX5B-AQBF3yuLMbKQS6xVHKOiYXcg7iw9ZxnXLjTO4xvRp7ys2WrT7hEsqcK400tTjWg6LODs_l8we3vuxcfwU0bIKjlGysj-aIMs/s400/WFP+video+contest+flier.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5536169057537880562" border="0" /></a>www.waterforpeople.org/contest<br /><br />You know you want to do it.Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-12374770724250998712010-08-04T13:43:00.000-07:002010-11-06T18:24:59.832-07:00OMtotheG! - Wings<span style="font-style: italic;">Wings</span> by Aprilynne Pike is the story of a young girl named Laurel who suddenly discovered that her whole life was a lie. She was a faerie. And she had a huge flower growing out of her back.<br /><br />This is a pretty good story and a fun and very light read. I feel the need here to point out that I am not a fan of <span style="font-style: italic;">Twilight</span>. There are many similarities between the two stories, but I feel that <span style="font-style: italic;">Wings</span> is what SMeyer wanted <span style="font-style: italic;">Twilight</span> to be. My brother described it as <span style="font-style: italic;">Twilight</span> minus the suck.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Wings</span> rating: Cheesy, but not too bad.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii08zZ5FgaVKComYjuGmLXm5Mc9sfwpfxyXmdBG-Y2GgAa_JtOooELMmTyLbeM8XoOE0rwvP0yoXzrbDDCQVtfc9uGBZTfFydjEPJfoDz0Cqe-vEXT135rBaXNdXA__7dUfutd8On5JmM/s1600/cheesy+book.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii08zZ5FgaVKComYjuGmLXm5Mc9sfwpfxyXmdBG-Y2GgAa_JtOooELMmTyLbeM8XoOE0rwvP0yoXzrbDDCQVtfc9uGBZTfFydjEPJfoDz0Cqe-vEXT135rBaXNdXA__7dUfutd8On5JmM/s320/cheesy+book.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501660095251008226" border="0" /></a>Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-83835135420549366152010-08-02T09:30:00.000-07:002010-08-02T10:05:14.008-07:00OMtotheG! - I Am Not A Serial Killer<span style="font-style: italic;">I Am Not A Serial Killer</span> is a book by Dan Wells. And I'm going to review it. Hutcha!<br /><br />John Wayne Cleaver is a 15-year-old boy in Nowhere, USA. He is determined to not become a serial killer. His chances of success are slim.<br /><br />One of the reviews on the back cover referred to the book as "unputdownable." I would have to disagree, but only because "unputdownable" is such a silly word. This book is well written and addicting. I stayed up ridiculously late to finish it in one night, and I was very glad my teddy bear was easy to find when I finally finished and tried to go to sleep.<br /><br />This book is riveting! Dan Wells obviously did his homework and researched carefully. The characters are fascinating and the story is nothing if not unique.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> I Am Not A Serial Killer</span> rating: Top shelf!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiAxnja4DAPIXtQP7AVMJ8ioJS_32jwhEbMGOT1Cp9Uqvenrv1yQgXCKwHPa0Ji9hiPkqVZoevK3r_hCahKCVWeZE8u8himpltu6lhPd06zllnQ0BBQekmej0cW3hW8akwvX3hm2l60RQ/s1600/reading+cat+book.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiAxnja4DAPIXtQP7AVMJ8ioJS_32jwhEbMGOT1Cp9Uqvenrv1yQgXCKwHPa0Ji9hiPkqVZoevK3r_hCahKCVWeZE8u8himpltu6lhPd06zllnQ0BBQekmej0cW3hW8akwvX3hm2l60RQ/s320/reading+cat+book.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5500859255694705186" border="0" /></a>Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-78812770966120143282010-07-25T22:59:00.000-07:002010-07-26T00:03:53.210-07:00China Stories! - Friendly Neighborhood Street VendorStreet vendors are everywhere in China! Well, everywhere that tourists are likely to go; I can't vouch for the rest. This is a picture of one of the guys that would hang around our hotel in Beijing:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxtLmurvt_2WSsWqeWAw2MSe7fX3piTln2sZF2ACvtl_FeVs8oSnWsAYi9DpvnpXdZBDlK0KXZLFZcWjKiAxyfsgLzFKv1P4Ix85gMOlmcnTv04UEEv-LSp8371wagnd2vkvBhPlBL5QM/s1600/street+vendor.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 319px; height: 239px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxtLmurvt_2WSsWqeWAw2MSe7fX3piTln2sZF2ACvtl_FeVs8oSnWsAYi9DpvnpXdZBDlK0KXZLFZcWjKiAxyfsgLzFKv1P4Ix85gMOlmcnTv04UEEv-LSp8371wagnd2vkvBhPlBL5QM/s320/street+vendor.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5498104024032210066" border="0" /></a><br />He sold lots of things, including hats just like his! You can get just about anything!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1fEdjGrZkDaPZ8GLOA_ga3YOiOF2yOOc3BY4baNQPMGOD9YF9QNiq5sBihq3LyHtQI8DBZE0Np96sofoVTm6Ukmx8TBTiQNXQhg-cfhCQ7F0OLLdhzOZcqGdP9UaV5WKQpRNYIOccBp8/s1600/36k+%284%29.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1fEdjGrZkDaPZ8GLOA_ga3YOiOF2yOOc3BY4baNQPMGOD9YF9QNiq5sBihq3LyHtQI8DBZE0Np96sofoVTm6Ukmx8TBTiQNXQhg-cfhCQ7F0OLLdhzOZcqGdP9UaV5WKQpRNYIOccBp8/s320/36k+%284%29.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5498106276697240546" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj81DYVBeJQpYfFtjvNZp3QMiuN4IGrk-wISxh-Asi4S_3pAiz0Wdh15uxfW5p1JUK99gwd_jA2fNm5MWTINYWQikSjMEKKVDtlYUdmDqHvBAUi-OFdGvbR53FcPEhp6q6BbXvIyFaCzm4/s1600/36k+%287%29.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj81DYVBeJQpYfFtjvNZp3QMiuN4IGrk-wISxh-Asi4S_3pAiz0Wdh15uxfW5p1JUK99gwd_jA2fNm5MWTINYWQikSjMEKKVDtlYUdmDqHvBAUi-OFdGvbR53FcPEhp6q6BbXvIyFaCzm4/s320/36k+%287%29.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5498106289267020178" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6Bd0AN8wFii4f-NPAS_MEry2hkPEwsHY3-n7WSCgOQia0Ko3FqH-lyDcdOtEYF9f5Dvmz56vVGqPdCIEeAdHpJSbao6_22SS0HnmasjCvzhAMPctsWNkrUQdGZHtoHklJn4PriWFq_qI/s1600/IMG_0685.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6Bd0AN8wFii4f-NPAS_MEry2hkPEwsHY3-n7WSCgOQia0Ko3FqH-lyDcdOtEYF9f5Dvmz56vVGqPdCIEeAdHpJSbao6_22SS0HnmasjCvzhAMPctsWNkrUQdGZHtoHklJn4PriWFq_qI/s320/IMG_0685.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5498106294815415970" border="0" /></a>Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-8013044500894065882010-07-02T11:08:00.000-07:002010-07-02T11:21:48.051-07:00kthxbai - Toy Story 3When I first heard that there was going to be a Toy Story 3, I was dubious. I worried that Disney was leaning on Pixar and that the story would be typical Disney. It was a delightful surprise to see the beauty that is Toy Story 3. The film brings the audience through the whole spectrum of emotion, from belly laughter to heartfelt tears.<br /><br />Toy Story and Toy Story 2 have a special place in my heart, and I am pleased to say that Toy Story 3 has joined them there. All of my misgivings were blown away and I believe that this final chapter of the story of Andy's toys is the best of them all.<br /><br />Toy Story 3 rating: buy it!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwV-rbngbjXIYt9kLPgArIlb79aZ-stJAokGq8pg5o54EW6_MomnvdjwdhuvKsfD5inkVAqvLgg09xmIvOivqen1hcj0TmxvZ_4JQH0nS2ss6zFMWPCXefld8NXc6C1mvK7Uwos_LT4gs/s1600/cat+mine.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 257px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwV-rbngbjXIYt9kLPgArIlb79aZ-stJAokGq8pg5o54EW6_MomnvdjwdhuvKsfD5inkVAqvLgg09xmIvOivqen1hcj0TmxvZ_4JQH0nS2ss6zFMWPCXefld8NXc6C1mvK7Uwos_LT4gs/s320/cat+mine.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489375314884655298" border="0" /></a>Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-30289073281013585412010-06-16T16:05:00.000-07:002010-06-16T21:59:36.755-07:00China Stories! - Traffic horrorA few people have heard me say that words cannot describe the traffic in China. It's true. These are a couple pictures from an intersection in Beijing where our bus driver turned into the oncoming lane. Exciting times.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAFJNjVVWoRxsgonuKUJOuW5jBhD2Qwmoqtp-eolt3odzJ64B1XYKJ-QH1MZd8NPBGlC70AYsbSdVfqOhUEHvXZBGa29NghdSIIUKFA_Zvy9Lf1o6LjP_ZxP1bWG1e7QRFZVG5QmsSTM0/s1600/OMG+CHINA%21+054.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAFJNjVVWoRxsgonuKUJOuW5jBhD2Qwmoqtp-eolt3odzJ64B1XYKJ-QH1MZd8NPBGlC70AYsbSdVfqOhUEHvXZBGa29NghdSIIUKFA_Zvy9Lf1o6LjP_ZxP1bWG1e7QRFZVG5QmsSTM0/s320/OMG+CHINA%21+054.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5483513277555832834" border="0" /></a>See those two cars coming toward us? Well, size matters in China. They had to back up to give us space to cut into the correct lane of traffic, which would have been easier if the lane had been treated as the single lane it was rather than two lanes. This is the view on the side of the bus:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzt17Ws20U5punN7qsA9n12HkEzv2CBkE53LEjii-GtxNcgsZ4PYkSq_-CMC6e5Pv0pSFJkqq3NuQ1r7uYV4TIVwfZfHFM79CW5IsWBizqGMybnQ_nDq-ZwsOOgIR-NEYMaiZA0lXZfEo/s1600/DSCN4291.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzt17Ws20U5punN7qsA9n12HkEzv2CBkE53LEjii-GtxNcgsZ4PYkSq_-CMC6e5Pv0pSFJkqq3NuQ1r7uYV4TIVwfZfHFM79CW5IsWBizqGMybnQ_nDq-ZwsOOgIR-NEYMaiZA0lXZfEo/s320/DSCN4291.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5483601901008334402" border="0" /></a><br />Remember, this is one lane! It wasn't just this intersection--this is fairly typical of traffic in China, as far as we could tell. It will be some time before I complain about Utah drivers.Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-69079715139001010972010-04-15T21:22:00.000-07:002010-05-06T13:53:37.747-07:00Komodo Dragon Spit<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSqMIBVP6iF870D6acGJ3l4SZjwkjfCBFuN1yTH7Wwb8yDAbFXaf0TimHSfPwLIdKBaAKgJpdkX7BgkOeQ8seq5taJhvH7Vw9vMmVRzpW1hqDoKV7z0LGdxR4Uc1_KW6yURgKPjArKc_A/s1600/red+x.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSqMIBVP6iF870D6acGJ3l4SZjwkjfCBFuN1yTH7Wwb8yDAbFXaf0TimHSfPwLIdKBaAKgJpdkX7BgkOeQ8seq5taJhvH7Vw9vMmVRzpW1hqDoKV7z0LGdxR4Uc1_KW6yURgKPjArKc_A/s320/red+x.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5468262974260932178" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Available for a limited time only. This is a video that I made for my microbiology class.Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-27949310566991836432010-02-19T20:58:00.001-08:002010-04-29T20:22:07.404-07:00My latest project<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYRa5HTiYoESkBLXnSP9_jQg-2sEwxWgnckCUZAp-COMxYGwehyphenhyphenk28zP2SmHbj87PIVKA5Yt5sq9CjsGsgydfLLXmWrNjx55E2jcgXQN2Ig2AkeLOvuHDnWE-1YLzH0O51C4SmbnGvCUo/s1600-h/DSC00205.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYRa5HTiYoESkBLXnSP9_jQg-2sEwxWgnckCUZAp-COMxYGwehyphenhyphenk28zP2SmHbj87PIVKA5Yt5sq9CjsGsgydfLLXmWrNjx55E2jcgXQN2Ig2AkeLOvuHDnWE-1YLzH0O51C4SmbnGvCUo/s320/DSC00205.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440185846129989522" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6FSVIxKGzk66kwh_Jb2fDVPxk31bKw_roYorvfdlg-FpQ44XwUsOlWL3HpzCN8UnT7LGUdDo1NB2mifzZFdP17PGWFiU9L3GW8PD37wl9ua2mhshJI_qFCQQnVnYjMGsPM3MoNfCGitk/s1600/a+bit+of+everything+075.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6FSVIxKGzk66kwh_Jb2fDVPxk31bKw_roYorvfdlg-FpQ44XwUsOlWL3HpzCN8UnT7LGUdDo1NB2mifzZFdP17PGWFiU9L3GW8PD37wl9ua2mhshJI_qFCQQnVnYjMGsPM3MoNfCGitk/s320/a+bit+of+everything+075.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5465765409213097634" border="0" /></a>Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-37136772100739556052010-01-17T14:35:00.000-08:002010-01-17T14:40:51.049-08:00kthxbai - AvatarA good friend of mine told me that if this review isn’t funny, he’ll have to kill me. I see no point in putting a great deal of effort into something if I’m just going to be killed for it either way. So, here goes: <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This movie is very pretty. The CG effects were masterfully done and the music is stunning. The story left much to be desired.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Imagine someone gave you a present, and it was the most spectacularly packaged and wrapped present you had ever seen. If the wrapping is that great, the present itself must be magnificent! Well, it’s one of those old alphabet blocks.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">At least you got cool wrapping paper.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Avatar rating: Borrow it.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP2rDTw2z9d7bal2onxmBB0HZMzLLb2n3ZUdpysYx8c5B93DX9eSD5xqSxLr64cdiIwK7fwzt0zza6yANygtgyM25hLDwczVKXChbpEoWk-G_UZvlVMaCkyoITWTpy4Uiw344PVy4htQg/s1600-h/borrow+it.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 242px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP2rDTw2z9d7bal2onxmBB0HZMzLLb2n3ZUdpysYx8c5B93DX9eSD5xqSxLr64cdiIwK7fwzt0zza6yANygtgyM25hLDwczVKXChbpEoWk-G_UZvlVMaCkyoITWTpy4Uiw344PVy4htQg/s320/borrow+it.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5427841562666247074" border="0" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p>Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-67494946893884559882010-01-09T23:05:00.000-08:002010-01-09T23:11:27.473-08:00kthxbai - Cloudy With a Chance of MeatballsFlint Lockwood could never get anything right--until the day he made it rain cheeseburgers.<br /><br />Ridiculous? Yes. Hilarious? Very yes.<br /><br />Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs rating: Buy it!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2hAA3b_Jm1ptDnorOfreBTRKbRQuELlUa_x2RzAOjebhGxGRHmx8vLE2oFjLWE5GMf2KnSaQLDlGc_Jk9aEC8KRFy5hxpuMQupzPPBvmtdGzyjTR4xnXrOYonbB1UsLl3M1dWVruT4Yk/s1600-h/cat+mine.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 257px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2hAA3b_Jm1ptDnorOfreBTRKbRQuELlUa_x2RzAOjebhGxGRHmx8vLE2oFjLWE5GMf2KnSaQLDlGc_Jk9aEC8KRFy5hxpuMQupzPPBvmtdGzyjTR4xnXrOYonbB1UsLl3M1dWVruT4Yk/s320/cat+mine.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5425004739801042338" border="0" /></a><br /></div>Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-33719759594974729252009-12-20T20:56:00.000-08:002009-12-20T21:03:04.724-08:00kthxbai - Dungeons and Dragons<div style="text-align: left;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_6oKLt5KNDUujyyNolky9_gt7bLb8hDJ6EU9aFQgu_zTU-_JHu58GGv6to9zjia2j1GHjYMfg6gbMHV8PHj9954zi67xXm4xEEeTTTO4q1JSdq28lfWmAusD30nrVnZF0jik7eFe8aVo/s1600-h/sad-cat.jpg"> <img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 249px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_6oKLt5KNDUujyyNolky9_gt7bLb8hDJ6EU9aFQgu_zTU-_JHu58GGv6to9zjia2j1GHjYMfg6gbMHV8PHj9954zi67xXm4xEEeTTTO4q1JSdq28lfWmAusD30nrVnZF0jik7eFe8aVo/s320/sad-cat.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5417549595766995330" border="0" /></a><br /></div>Dungeons and Dragons rating: I weep for humanityHobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-512714607446602017.post-57909690155390957852009-12-20T13:17:00.000-08:002009-12-24T09:32:16.757-08:00kthxbai - Twilight RifftraxTwilight Rifftrax<br /><br />Even with Rifftrax, this movie is unbearable.<br /><br />This sums up the Twilight story pretty well:<br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWLa-uFimaE&NR=1&feature=fvwp"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Bella from Twilight vlog by Paperlillies</span></a><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sILnTjYlNxc">Excellent outtake (sort of)</a><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/q2mZbTCqF2s&hl=en_US&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/q2mZbTCqF2s&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Twilight rating: Avoid it at all possible costs<br /><br />Twilight Rifftrax rating: Don't bother<br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-ebTi3YfULr_h6KGtkcgnQ8MII42Gv8zJMBIK11JWau3J5q5lI-H1XRObOrAXQs4qptW-ZrpOfcTEeVR8Fce7nVF_hGWjxIeFy-o-V0nupmSoNkrRlX1-cDGHa68haGAlAU8BkccPS48/s1600-h/don't+bother.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-ebTi3YfULr_h6KGtkcgnQ8MII42Gv8zJMBIK11JWau3J5q5lI-H1XRObOrAXQs4qptW-ZrpOfcTEeVR8Fce7nVF_hGWjxIeFy-o-V0nupmSoNkrRlX1-cDGHa68haGAlAU8BkccPS48/s320/don't+bother.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5417548890009940962" border="0" /></a></div>Hobbeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15773709496811811157noreply@blogger.com0