Weekend Mayhem #2

Still some weeks ago, but not so many as weekend mayhem #1, I had my first blind date ever.

I had just started work a few days before when my manager, who I had no idea at the time was my manager, asked me to step into his office for a moment. He began with the disclaimer that his wife had "put [him] up to this" and instantly I remembered that he had mentioned having a 26-year-old, unmarried son. Sure enough, my boss started talking about this son. He was coming into town to visit for the long weekend and I was invited to have lunch with the family somewhere on Saturday. My mind was racing for a polite way out of it, but I couldn't think of one, so I said sure, and I'd be glad to.

The plan was that I would meet them somewhere for pizza on Saturday. My manager said that either he would call or his son would to give me the details once they were figured out. Saturday came and went with no word from either of them and I felt quite happy to have gotten out of an awkward situation so easily.

On Sunday when I got home from church, I discovered that my manager had called while I was gone. In the message, he invited me over to his family's house to join a large family gathering. Consider, for a moment, how you would feel at a large family celebration for a blind date with the son of someone you work with. I didn't return the call.

Monday was a holiday, and sure enough, I got a call from the son about lunch. We talked for a little while on the phone about this and that and he told me when he would pick me up.

This is where things started to get especially weird. He came and picked me up, normal. We started to drive into town, also normal. I asked what we were having for lunch, typical. The answer was KFC. We weren't driving to KFC. I asked about it and from his response, I concluded that we were going to meet the rest of the family at my manager's house and then go to lunch, which was reasonable, but unfortunately was not the case.

We were having lunch at my manager's house. That was weird.

The lad introduced me to the family members that were at the house and showed me some of the improvements his father had made. The tile was really nice, but the house was not to code and the crown moulding and trim were not very well done. Yes, I'm the sort of geek who notices these things. Don't worry, I didn't say anything about it.

It was not long before the rest of the family arrived with KFC takeout. Apparently, this family is civilized and does not eat fried chicken with their bare hands, so I struggled in silence to manage with a fork and knife. Lunch was enjoyable, if slightly awkward, but I was still quite glad to go home when it was over.

It didn't happen that way. The boy's mother suggested we play a game, and he fully supported the idea, so we started to play Catch Phrase. He was impressed with the trivia I knew. Afterward we played GuitarHero.

Finally, I decided he wasn't going to take a hint and I asked to be taken home, on the grounds that my dad was flying out of town that afternoon and I didn't want to miss him.

When we got back to my house, the boy asked to see my dog, whom I had mentioned during lunch. He didn't leave for an hour after that.

Even with how awkward the date was, it might not have mattered had the lad been, well, completely different. As we talked on the way back to my house, I learned that this 26-year old boy worked at Walmart, had never gone to college, and had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. Plus, he hunts, has a goatee, and has never heard of Fred Astaire.