A Dozen Dumb Things to Do on a Date

We here at the Life and Times realize that there are many, many dumb things a person can do on a date. However, we decided to list only those things within our own experiences.

1. Use crude humor

This is just a turn-off. It brings to mind high school, and no one wants to live through that again.

2. Say "just kidding" after everything you say

Aside from being incredibly annoying, this smacks of insecurity. Also, give the girl some credit. She can probably recognize a joke when she hears one.

3. Go to dinner and a movie for the first date

Dinner and a movie is not a bad date idea. Just be sure to establish that you can both stand each other's company BEFORE you try it. First dates are awkward enough without adding awkward dinner conversation and the awkwardness of sitting next to each other for a good two hours without saying anything.

4. Don't listen to a word she says

I should think this is fairly self explanatory. Rude!

Similarly, don't make the girl carry the conversation by herself. Take an equal part in the discussion.

5. Don't leave a tip

Seriously, if you can't afford to leave a tip, you can't afford to take the girl out. Next.

6. Ask for a student discount at the dollar theater

This could be a good joke. Unfortunately, it was not a joke. See #5. Jerk.

7. Leave the girl no personal space whatsoever

You do not get to sit on her lap. No. Crowding the girl is rude, and it makes her uncomfortable. Just use the same spacing that you do with friends.

Conversely, don't hide from the girl, either. Again, use the same spacing you would with a friend. This is the sort of thing that you have to call on a case-by-case basis, but the odds are good that she won't appreciate a lap warmer on the first date.

8. Check your email. Twice

If you're not interested in the girl, end the date. Otherwise, you're wasting your time and hers.

9. Make the date last eight hours

The best dates are short dates, in our humble opinion. If things are working out, take her out frequently on short dates. If things don't work out, a short date minimizes the time you have to spend together.

10. Be more interested in the xbox than your date

Using the girl to get access to her brother's xbox is despicable. If you're at your date's place and see that there's an xbox, it's fine to play--if she also wants to. If you pester her into playing, you've used her and become a terrible human being.

11. Say "I love you" after dating for only a week and a half

Can you say creepy? My colleagues think I should make allowances, since this occurred in Utah. That's no excuse. Things may happen quickly in Mormonville, UT, but that does not make it acceptable.

12. Go to the temple

I was tricked on this one. A young gentleman in the ward asked for help to do baptisms for family names. I replied that I would be only too happy to help. He then asked if I wanted to make a date of it. Foul!

It's bad enough to plan on a date to the temple, but to trick a girl into one is disgusting. The temple is not an appropriate date spot. No. No no no. The amount of fail involved here is nearly epic.


Thank you, friends. Now go out there and make a heaven of hell!
Ciao!